It’s Mocking Me Crazy

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April 24, 2007
It’s Mocking Me Crazy
by Keith Weiland

Roy’s 7-Round Mock | Keith’s 1st Round Mock | Warren’s 1st Round Mock

Mock drafts are like noses, they smell. Seriously, that’s like the best one-liner I have here, so don’t get your hopes up that this mock gets much better than that. It will, however, take a good five minutes off your life, so… read this fast and save yourself while you still can!

1. JaMarcus Russell, QB, LSU
Yeah, Calvin is the smarter pick, but what can Al Davis to do when his top QB is Andrew Walter? 2. Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech
This receiver (or pick) is destined to be traded to another team, probably the Bucs. 3. Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame
Quinn did suffer some overhype as a Domer, but the Browns still need a (pretty) face.  4. Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson
This pick/player seems likely headed to Detroit. Adams will second guess himself if Millen likes him. 5. Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin
Surely even the woebegone Cardinals aren’t dumb enough to mess this up, right? Right?? 6. LaRon Landry, FS, LSU
Look for the Redskins to trade down, probably with the Falcons, as they are desperate for extra picks. 7. Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma
Surely even the woebegone Card-, er… Vikings aren’t dumb enough to mess this up, right? Right?? 8. Amobi Okoye, DT, Louisville
HC Bobby Petrino may like his former player, but methinks moving up to get Landry is the pick. 9. Levi Brown, OT, Penn State
It’s nirvana as need-meets-BPA. Brown drops anchor (and hopefully little else) in South Beach. 10. Darrelle Revis, CB, Pittsburgh
I’ve had them picking a CB here since the day after the ’06 draft, though admittedly it’s taken that long for me to learn how to spell ‘Darrelle’. 11. Patrick Willis, LB, Ole Miss
I hesitate to write him in here because this makes the Niners look too damn smart for their own good. 12. Leon Hall, CB, Michigan
Not a bad Clements replacement. And thus begins The Search for Marshawn portion of the draft. 13. Alan Branch, DT, Michigan
Rams go back to the Wolverines, making perhaps the most boring pick of the entire round. 14. Greg Olsen, TE, Miami
If David Carr goes under center, Olsen’s blocking ability immediately comes under fire. 15. Paul Posluszny, LB, Penn State
The Steelers keep The Poz in state as they transition their storied defense. 16. Reggie Nelson, FS, Florida
Whoa! I guess The Search for Marshawn continues. Where will it end? Does anyone care?? 17. Jamaal Anderson, DE, Arkansas
Yay! Another player for Texans fans to despise! And bonus, he plays on the D-line!! 18. Adam Carriker, DE, Nebraska
Insert latest Bengal-running-afoul-of-the-law joke here. Make self-righteous remark. Move along. 19. Marshawn Lynch, RB, California
Found him! Wait, unless the Titans find a way to trade for Michael Turner… Nah. Search is over. 20. Lawrence Timmons, LB, Florida State
Seems the Giants jettisoned enough linebackers lately to take a look at one in the draft.  21. Justin Harrell, DT, Tennessee
Right about now, I’m beginning to wonder who The Search falls to next. Ted Ginn, Jr.? Yeah, him. 22. Robert Meachem, WR, Tennessee
The Search for Ted Ginn, Jr. continues as Jerrah likes seeing the Vols back-to-back. 23. Joe Staley, OT, Central Michigan
No tonic for Ginn here. The Chiefs need a tackle like Sanjaya needs a trip to SportClips. 24. Jon Beason, LB, Miami
Ugh, too bad the Pats couldn’t find a way to end The Search for Ted. This thread is getting worn. 25. Aaron Ross, CB, Texas
For a team really needing another CB, this is a pretty nifty pick. Jets fans will still boo, of course. 26. Anthony Spencer, DE, Purdue
Eagles are getting kinda old at this position. Jevon Kearse went from The Freak to The Creak in Philly. 27. Ted Ginn, Jr, WR, Ohio State
Another Search thankfully ends. Ginn with Reggie Bush is serious speed on offense. 28. Brandon Merriweather, FS, Miami
The Pats seem to do well reforming borderline and periodic knuckleheads. 29. Justin Blaylock, OL, Texas
No telling which position he’ll play on the line, but I figure he can play just about any of them. 30. Dwayne Bowe, WR, LSU
Call off The Search party for this guy. The Chargers need a quality starter at this position. 31. Dwayne Jarrett, WR, USC
Rinse and repeat what I just wrote about the other Dwayne at the pick just above this one. 32. Chris Houston, CB, Arkansas
The Colts might just grab the best corner on the board at this point. Maybe it’s this guy. Darrelle Revis Darrelle Revis Home

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