Leave Petey Alone!

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September 24, 2007
Leave Petey Alone!

by Keith Weiland

How dare anyone out there make fun of Petey? After all he’s been through? His last name is Faggins! You think he’s ever had it easy? Petey… poor guy is nicknamed after a dog! You try to make it all through school named Petey Faggins. So he lost his man in coverage …a few times.

HE’S A HUMAN!!!!!!111

What you don’t realize is that Petey is making all your excuses easy for you and all you do is post a bunch a crap about him. He knows he can’t hang with Steve Smith and Marvin Harrison! He has eyes, people! Just because he can’t cover those receivers by himself doesn’t mean he can’t see them running past him very, very fast!


Petey hasn’t performed on a stage this big in years. You think his man coverage is called “Gimme More Cushion” for a reason. Petey knows he gives up more cushion than Mattress Mac at a pre-inventory sofa clearance. He can’t help he’s so nice to other people! Try being nice to other people sometime yourself, you jerks!

You’re lucky he even played for you bastards! He went out there with the best intentions. He wants to stop those other guys from making big plays. But they get NFL paychecks, too. Much bigger paychecks than Petey ever gets!

What did he ever do to you? Man coverage in the NFL is hard! You can’t talk about someone without walking a mile in his cleats! Or without adequate deep safety help! Can you do that? You can’t do that.


C.C. Brown leaves him alone. A lot. Bitch.

Petey is a professional. He broke his foot last season. That really, really hurts! Try it on yourself sometime, like right now. Your pain is nothing compared to his! And he still came back to play in 11 games for you, you ingrates!

Please. He plays defense for you no matter what. Speaking of professionalism, when is it professional to publicly bash someone who’s going through a hard time? Go follow David Carr to Charlotte with his fancy gloves and his cute $80 haircut and bash him!

Leave Petey Faggins alone RIGHT NOW! I mean it. Anyone who has a problem with him, you deal with me. And I don’t need safety help over the top to take on any of you bastards.

Don’t you realize he’s was just a sixth round pick? Sixth! He was cut twice by the Texans before you were begging for him to come back. Or have you forgotten about Phillip Buchanon already?

I love you Petey!

Keith Weiland really does like Demarcus Faggins …as a nickel corner. Just don’t expect him to cry about it on YouTube.

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