The Dave After, 10/29/06

October 30, 2006
The Dave After, 10/29/06

by Dave Sabo

Texans 22 “Oilers” 28

The only snide remark I can make here is that after the turd the Texans laid out there, the “Oilers” are so weak that Houston had the ball and a chance to win it at the end. And the only bright spot is that Wali Lundy is the newest name on the “List of Rookie Running Backs That Are Better Than Reggie Bush”. Well, the emergence of Owen Daniels was pretty sweet as well.

Ravens 35 Saints 22

Five carries for 16 yards, four receptions for 5 yards, no punt returns. My goodness, how could the Texans have possibly passed on production like THAT? He even heaved up a pick. So, now there’s another facet of the game at which Reggie Bush sucks completely.

Packers 34 Cardinals 14

Edgerrin James is the latest former superstar athlete to completely fail to realize his limitations. While there was a time when he was an elite running back, his high level of production the past couple of seasons was due, in large part to playing in Indianapolis. Why he ever even CONSIDERED leaving the Colts is beyond me. He’s better than he’s shown in Arizona, but when a guy complains (while he leads the league in carries) that his production has fallen because he’s not getting enough touches, he’s lost touch with reality. He’ll hang on for one or two seasons too long.

Falcons 29 Bengals 27

Three more touchdown passes for Michael Vick and 55 yards on the ground. It’s getting harder and harder to accuse him of being the most over-rated player in the NFL. And, in case you’re wondering; that shine that’s lying all over the place? Yeah, that came off of Marvin Lewis’ star.

Bears 41 49ers 10

Could this be the year that those old farts in Miami have to keep the champagne on ice? I sure hope so. Forget the most over-rated player, the ’72 Dolphins are the most over-rated team in history. They beat ONE team with a wining record during the regular season in ‘72. Even Bob Griese has said that the ’73 team was better. I always root for some team to go undefeated as long as it’s not some team like dallas or the “Oilers” or Oakland.

Jaguars 13 Eagles 6

Shoot, I can’t figure it out. A team the Texans beat by 20 beats a team that beat the Texans by two touchdowns. Whatever, as long as the Texans keep on punking their bitch, I’m happy. And this game is further proof of what an utter dumbass Dull Rio is for starting a gimp like Arnold over Garrard last week.

Giants 17 Bucaneers 3

Woohoo! Another opportunity to question, yet again, why an incomprehensible drug addict like Michael Irvin has a job in broadcasting! Tiki Barber should punch him dead in the face next time he sees him. How dare that perpetual distraction to his team accuse a stud like Tiki of quitting on his teammates. Maybe he doesn’t want to end his career being carted off on a stretcher in Philadelphia with a broken neck. Have fun not making the Hall of Fame again, you crackhead.

Chiefs 35 Seahawks 28

If I told you a week ago that ago that the over/under on a game that prominently featured Damon Huard and Seneca Wallace was 62-½, you’d have broken your back getting to your bookie to bet the under. And then you’d have lost.

Raiders 20 Steelers 13

I can’t believe I’m typing this, but had Cowher pulled a “Koobs” and benched Big Ben for Charlie Batch, he and his squad wouldn’t be sitting around wondering how they have a worse record than the Texans. Man, the crater that will be formed by Ben Roethlisberger’s career once it completes its spectacular plummet is going to be epic.

Browns 20 Jets 13

That Thanksgiving Weekend game at the Meadowlands is starting to stink already. Losing to the Browns is like having a five year-old tell you that you’re ugly.

Colts 34 Broncos 31

I was reading somewhere about somebody having a theory that the Colts keep teams in games on purpose to challenge themselves. I’m not saying I’m buying it, but I think that when they lose in situations other than when the starters are resting because they’ve already clinched (or in the playoffs), they’re genuinely shocked that they’ve lost.

Chargers 38 Rams 34

LaDainian Tomlinson scored another touchdown while you read this. Being a fan of a Schottenheimer coached team must be excruciating during times like these. They’re rolling, everything’s clicking, everybody’s starting to think “Playoffs”; yet, you know Marty’s gonna blow it in the post season like he always does.

Panthers 14 Cryboys 10 5:10 3rd Quarter

Okay, I think we can forget these Sunday night games. I’m straining to stay awake, this game is beyond boring, I can actually see Parcells getting fatter and pastier (which is making me queasy), and I couldn’t care less who wins. As I did during the Raiders game two weeks ago, I’m going to bed.