The 6th Annual Davey Awards

November 10, 2005
The 6th Annual Davey Awards

by Dave Sabo

Midseason MVP, Offense
Nominees: Shaun Alexander, Peyton Manning, Ben Roethlisberger, LaDainian Tomlinson

And the Davey Award goes to: LaDainian Tomlinson. In a close race between LT and Alexander, LaDainian’s ability to catch the ball out of the backfield gives him the Davey. Alexander has the better rushing numbers, but Tomlinson has proven to be the better all-around back as a dual threat. Really, you can’t go wrong with either man. Both are threatening Jamal Lewis’s touchdown record, and it’s not entirely inconceivable that one or the other breaks the 2,000 yard barrier. And I’ve got both on one or the other on my fantasy teams.

Midseason MVP, Defense
Nominees: Dwight Freeney, Cato June, Zach Thomas, Robert Mathis

And the Davey Award goes to: Dwight Freeney. I know Mathis has the numbers but, I believe that comes as a result of teams having to scheme for Freeney. Forget Jevon Kearse, Freeney is the real “Freak”; a marvelous blend of speed and power. He’s the best player on one of, if not the best, defenses in the league. Anyone want to bet that Dom and his staff will have no answer for Dwight on Sunday?

Rookie of the Half Season, Offense
Nominees: Ronnie Brown, Brandon Jones, Heath Miller, Carnell Williams

And the Davey Award goes to: Williams was set to walk away with the hardware in the early going as he rushed for well over 100 yards in his first 3 games. Then, the Cadillac drove off a cliff. He suffered foot and hamstring injuries, missed two games and is watching his season fall apart. In his last 5 games he’s totaled just 35 carriers for a paltry 62 yards. Jones, on a bad team, has been solid if unspectacular, which leaves Brown and Miller. Brown has been somewhat inconsistent, but when he’s been on, he has excelled. I’m gonna have to go with Heath Miller, though. He leads all rookies in scoring and he’s become an important part of a Steelers team that should challenge the Colts for AFC supremacy.

Rookie of the Half Season, Defense
Nominees: Derrick Johnson, Shawne Merriman, Odell Thurman, DeMarcus Ware

And the Davey Award goes to: Odell Thurman. It hasn’t really been close. After a slow start Merriman was beginning to come on, but a wrist injury has set him back. Johnson and Ware have shown flashes, but Thurman has been stellar. It’s a little early to be making the comparison, but if his play remains at this level, we’ll be talking about him the same way we talked about some OTHER middle linebacker in Marvin Lewis’s defensive scheme.

Coach of the Half Season
Nominees: Bill Belichick, Tony Dungy, Marvin Lewis, Lovie Smith

And the Davey Award goes to: Tony Dungy. Belichick should be commended for having the Pats heads above water after all they’ve been through and Lovie Smith should be commended for having the Bears in first (even though they’re only 4 and 4). Marvin Lewis is definitely on to something in Cincy, but they’re at least a year away. Dungy FINALLY has the defense running on all cylinders and has the offense more interested in winning a ring rather than re-writing the record books. He’s got the best team in football running like a well-oiled machine. Which leads us to…

Best Team
Nominees: Indianapolis Colts, Indianapolis Colts, Indianapolis Colts, Indianapolis Colts

And the Davey Award goes to: The Indianpolis Colts. Not that there was much question, but the convincing win over the Pats in Foxboro sealed it. Bill Simmons can whine about easy schedules all he wants, but the Colts are absolutely dominating right now.

Worst Team
Nominees: Cleveland Browns, Green Bay Packers, Houston Texans, San Francisco 49ers

And the Davey Award goes to: The Houston Texans. They are, at this moment, a complete failure as an organization. There is no excuse for this display. They’re awful. Oh, and for all you deluded folks that are yearning for T.O. to save the day? Forget it. One, he ain’t coming to Houston and, two, he’s a loser. A very, very talented loser, but a loser none the less. I commend Donovan McNabb for having the patience and class to deal with that ass-clown. I don’t think anybody would begrudge his kicking the crap out of Owens at this point.

Biggest Disappointment
Nominees: Phillip Buchanon, Houston Texans, Platinum Lot Parking, Super Bowl XLIII Site

And the Davey Award goes to: Phillip Buchanon. A second AND a third round pick? Really, Charley? I thought the price was a little steep, but I thought he’d be perfect across from Dunta. Shows what I know. What’s frustrating is that the talent is there, but there’s some sort of connection missing. Was it Kevin Costner as Crash Davis who said something about million dollar talent and a five cent head? I’m paraphrasing.

Worst Game
Nominees: Houston Texas vs Pick ‘Em

And the Davey Award goes to: Any game involving the Texans and, yes, that includes the Browns game. However, that Texans – Niners game in Week 17 is gonna be a pure-dee suckfest. But, back to the Browns game…

Lamest Fans
Nominees: Cleveland Browns, Houston Texans, Oakland Raiders, Pittsburgh Steelers

And the Davey Award goes to: The Cleveland Browns. The Steelers fans were a-holes (as were the Pack fans last year), but at least their team won. The mental midgets that showed their asses after losing to Houston a couple of weeks ago really took the cake. Drinking to the point of puking, throwing beer on old folks and endlessly trying to provoke fights were just a few of their tricks. With the exception of the two old-timers that had to apologize for their brethren, just a complete gang of lame-asses.

Best Item to Grill at a Tailgate
Nominees: Brats, Cheeseburgers, Jalapeno Sausage, Shrimp Brochette

And the Davey Award goes to: Shrimp Brochette. Man, I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been addicted to that bacon-wrapped shrimp this season. And now that you can get a 50/60 count bag of peeled, de-veined, RAW shrimp at HEB for $7.99, it’s a snap to make. Cheap, too. Julienne some jalapenos, shred some Monterey jack; butterfly, stuff and wrap those bad boys and grill ‘em up. Throw in a box of Zatarain’s dirty rice and some cold ones and you’re the Lord of All Creation, my friend!

The Deion Sanders “Way Past His ‘Primetime’” Award
Nominees: You’re kidding, right?

And the Davey Award goes to: Deion Sanders! Geez, I made this up and awarded it to him SIX YEARS AGO! He hasn’t gotten any better. Deion has, however, popularized the position of “dollar” back…when the Ravens bring in 10 defensive backs. At least it keeps him out of the broadcast booth and the studio.

Which brings us to…

The Deion Sanders “’Excellence’ in Broadcasting Award”
Nominees: Michael Irvin, Jimmy Kimmel, Steve Tasker, The “Boom!…Goes the Dynamite!” Guy

And the Davey Award goes to: Michael Irvin. It’s tough to beat out no-talents like Tasker and Kimmel (who just needs to die along with whoever keeps letting him near NFL broadcasts), but Michael managed to edge them out with his ridiculous contention that the Eagles would be undefeated with Brett Favre at the helm. Is he under the impression that it’s still 1998? Judging from the asinine pimp suits he insists on wearing, I think he is.

Dave Sabo don’t like it. Rock the Casbah, rock the Casbah!